•June 3, 2009 • Leave a Comment
I am sure Leona Lewis is a perfectly lovely human being, and talented, and all that, but I absolutely positively cannot frigging stand her “Bleeding Love” song. I am thankful that it’s past its Top 40 heyday when its presence on the radio rose to spirit-breaking proportions, but every once in a while it’ll still show up at the video store or Duane Reade, and it honestly drives me to punch my eardrums out with a toothbrush.
I don’t know why I hate it so much. It’s perfectly innocuous, it’s not loud or cacophonous, it’s not falsely bling-tastic. But maybe that’s just it…there’s absolutely no conviction in it. No passion. Nothing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed plenty of songs that lack conviction, passion, and musicality, but the thing that drives me nuts about this particular one is that pretty much everyone else I know loves this song. Loves it. Am I missing something?
Here’s to hoping I have better things to do than bitch about Leona Lewis…
•June 1, 2009 • Leave a Comment
This conversation never, ever, ever fails to get me steamed:
Person #1: [utters something about a Zeppelin song]
Person#2: Yeah, I always liked him.
Dislike Factor: 6
•June 1, 2009 • Leave a Comment
I don’t operate before 6am at the earliest. That is all.
Dislike factor: 5.5
•May 27, 2009 • Leave a Comment
I frequently wear shoes with four-inch heels. Not to commute in, but if I feel like taking a stroll around lunchtime, I’m not gonna pull a Mr. Rogers. Unfortunately, with the beauty of the shoe comes the added obstacle of the sidewalk vent.
Try as I might to stay on the stable, concrete part of the sidewalk, some jackass always manages to crowd my walking space. You know the type…it’s the same person who is so blissfully unaware of his or her wildly grandiose mid-conversation hand gestures that they knock a poor cocktail server’s entire tray over with a single sweep of an arm.
The same person whose unpredictable diagonal movement into your sidewalk space forces you to choose between running over a stroller or stepping onto the dreaded grate. Stiletto lodges in grate…you go flying directly to the ground, sans shoe…spatially-challenged jackass precedes forward in convenient oblivion.
No revenge method currently exists for this situation. I’d love a go-go gadget arm to drag the bastard down with me. :-)
Dislike factor: 4.5
•May 26, 2009 • 1 Comment
New Jersey Transit’s mission statement:
To provide safe, reliable, convenient and cost-effective transit service with a skilled team of employees, dedicated to our customers’ needs and committed to excellence.
Allow me to translate.
- Safe: Our guarantee that no harm will ever befall you while you ride on one of our trains. We are so committed to your safety that we often limit our speed to 10mph during particularly hazardous (read: rush hour) times of the day.
- Reliable: You can 100% bet that we never, ever, ever get you to your destination on time. We are that reliable.
- Convenient: We run one express train an hour and several local crawlfests! Gorgeous views of Newark and Elizabeth included in price.
- Cost-effective: Buying a round-trip ticket to NY feels like a punch in the face!
- Skilled employees: If you are on the wrong train or have purchased an off-peak ticket for a rush hour train, we promise that our employees, gracefully skilled in the art of customer communication, will speak to you in a hushed, gentle, condescendingly terrifying tone, guaranteed to leave you shaking in your boots on a platform in Secaucus while you contemplate your next move.
- Dedicated to customer’s needs: See above.
- Committed to excellence: We’re working really hard to provide improved service by replacing the concrete ties along the busiest rail corridor in the Northeast. We especially want to demonstrate our commitment to such excellence, so we put on a special display of this work while our customers are most likely to observe: between the hours of 8am and 7pm.
Dislike factor: 8.5
•May 26, 2009 • 2 Comments
So, I kind of stopped writing on this, like, a year ago. And even then, I got really, really bad at writing frequently.
Not sure why…it certainly wasn’t for lack of inspiration/material et al, but I just got tired of devoting multiple paragraphs to bitching, exciting as I thought it was at the time.
I’m taking a new tactic out for a spin and perhaps trying on a few names in the meantime. I may revert back to “All the Rage,” but we’ll see how well the new name sticks. I just think it’s a more accurate depiction of my new blog attitude: short entries aimed at pointing out things that, in my humble opinion, scream for improvement.
…and we’re off.